KNOCK- KNOCK!!!
Knock, Knock
Who?s there?
I know it was you.
Crap.
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
A talking pig.
Pigs can?t talk.
Neither can penguins, but I can?t shut him up! Wait till you get a load of the dancing candelabra?
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
You want to buy a kitten?
You want to buy a kitten who?
Make pretty pet.
I?m allergic to cats.
Taste good, too?
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
You sure you don?t want buy a little kitten?
Yes, I?m sure.
Could make one cute fuzzy glove?
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Ted Bundy
Ted Bundy who?
Let me in, meat!
No!
I mean? Hello I am Santa Claus.
Yay! Santa!
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
A Predator drone-launched Hellfire missile.
Saddam, I think it?s for you!
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Gandalf the Gray Wizard, friend to hobbits and elves!
Dork-ass loser.
Don?t hit me! Don?t hit me!
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
My mouth is full of spiders.
My mouth is full of spiders who?
I didn?t kill the baby. It was made out of popcorn. Popcorn baby! I need a bucket - my knuckles are melting?
Man, you have got to lay off the cough syrup.
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Hitler
Hitler who?
Hitler: German, dictator, mass murderer. Little mustache? One testicle? ?HEIL ME!? Ring a bell?
I thought you were someone else.
How is that possible? There is only ONE HITLER!
Nope. Went to school with a Nelson Hitler.
You?re just trying to annoy me now.
Do you really have just one testicle?
You?d think I miss it, but I don?t
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
What, and that makes you special?
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Some.
Some who?
Some asshole telling you knock, knock jokes.
CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:
Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.
Gloves and panties
A man went to a gift store to buy his girlfriend a pair of gloves. He had the manager try them on. She said they were perfect, so he had the manager wrap them up. When the manager gave him the gift she accidentally gave him a pair of panties instead. When the girlfriend got the gift there was a note attached to it.
The note read:
Dear Honey, Hope you like the gift. The lady at store said they were perfect. I had her try them on for me. She looked more like a lady. I hope you will wear them for me Friday night.
Love, Bobby
PS:The latest style is to wear them folded in with a little fur showing.
Honesty is the best policy
euta manchhe le septi tanki ko side ma tree katdai thiyo. katda katdai bancharo haat bata fuskera septi tanki ma khase chha. tyaspachi u ke garam ke garam bhanera tyahi runa thlechha.
ekai chin pachhi gu deuta ayeccha ra sodhechha:balak timilai ke bhayo. timi kina royera baseko.
gu deuta lai dheke pachhi usle sun ko, chandi ko bancharo payeko katha samjhe chha ra bhanechha
"bhagwan mero bancharo tyaha tapai ko ghar ma khase chha. aba ma ke garum"
gu deuta: attinu pardainama chhadai chhu ni.
tyash pachhi tyo deuta le dive hanechha ra 1 second ma sun(gold) ko bancharo liyera achha.
tyo manchhe chahi maile socheko ta sachhikai hune bhayo. aba ma imandar hunchhu ani chandi ko pani bancharo pamla ni, yo sochdai usle bhnechha
"bhagwan tyo mero hoina"
bhagwan: yo terai ho.
manchhe: hoina
bhagwan: ho
jati gare pani manchhe le tyo mero hoina bhanthyo ra last ma bhagwan le bhan chha:
"sale, yo terai bancharo ho. badhta honest naban. yo bancharo ma gu lagera yo sunko jasto dekheko ho."
Interview with laden
interviewer: full name plz
laden: Osama bin laden
interviewer: sex plz
laden: twice a week
interviewer: no no..., male or female???
laden:ohhh that both male and female and sometimes camel.
Betrayed
One sardarji was travellig from Jaipur to patna. He was feeling drowsiness. Feared he could not wake up in Patna, he gave RS 20 to a man and and asked a favor help him wake up him at Patna. The man was professionally a barber and he felt Rs 20 was not worth for just that work. So he shaved the beard of Sardarji. Later, sardar ji went to home. And when he was in rest room, he saw his face in the mirror and could not see the beard. So,he yelled to his wife " Bhagawan, the man was fraud. I had given him Rs 20 but he waked up someone else, not me."
हर्के र बिर्खे
हर्के र बिर्खे टप रेस्टुरेन्टअंा गएछन, कुर्सी मा बसेछन
त्यसपछी वेटर आएर सोधेछ सर तपाईंहरुलाई मेनु ल्याइदिउँ?
हर्के र बिर्खे अलमल्ल परेछन, हन यो मेनु भनेको कुन खान को नाम रएह्छ मन मनै सोचेछन, आ जे होश अँ भाई त्यही मेनु लाई आधा-आधा गरेर ल्याइदेउ
न ल, वेटर अलमल्ल परेछ
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